Hope in Dark Times

Written by Hannah Land.

In 2023 I faced double cancer diagnoses following routine screening in late 2022. By late April I had experienced two major surgeries which left me dealing with the physical and emotional upheaval.

Much was outside of my control and I felt pretty hopeless at various points. I had to dig deep and allow others to support me. I blogged extensively in 2024 reflecting on my experiences; you can read those posts on Substack.

There were lots of ways I tried to sustain hope in that time and this series got me thinking about that period once more.

As a Christian I turned to my faith and found encouragement with certain scriptures at different points in my journey.

With less than a week to go before the second operation I was petrified of going through surgery again especially after having had a difficult first surgery just a few weeks previously. I attended prayer and breakfast at St Nic’s church in Nottingham – this happens every Wednesday at 8am. Half an hour of toast and hot drinks, followed by half an hour of prayer and liturgy using Morning Prayer from the Ffald-y-Brenin community. The Psalm for that day was Psalm 16.

“Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge.” I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” I say of the holy people who are in the land, “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.” Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more. I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods or take up their names on my lips. Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

We began sharing, out loud, different phrases from the Psalm. I cried and said, “my body will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead….” I had a sudden sense of peace that filled me in that moment.

Another thing that kept hope alive is songs and singing. I’m part of an international community of people who sing Shape Note Music¹. I won’t dwell on the detail of the tradition too much, other than to say there were various songs that sustained me in that period. Plus the singing community held me with their traditions. Many folks reached out to tell me what songs they had led for me at singings. Others wrote to me or sent treats. So many friends thinking of me and wishing me well.

One song came to mind whilst in Hospital. The words and tune fit perfectly.

Judkins 111b Christian Harmony

In mercy Lord remember me.
Through all the hours of night,
And grant to me most graciously.
The safeguard of Thy might.

With cheerful heart I close my eyes,
Since Thou wilt not remove;
Oh, in the morning let me rise,
Rejoicing in Thy love.

Or if this night should prove the last,
And end my transient days;
Oh, take me to Thy promised rest,
Where I may sing Thy Praise.

I’d managed to accept my lot just in time. I had some hope.

Shape Note Singing is an American musical tradition from the early 19th century, known for its unique notation system where shapes represent different musical pitches, making it easier to read and learn. It involves communal singing with participants seated in a square formation, taking turns leading songs from the center. The repertoire includes hymn tunes, anthems, and folk songs from early American hymnals. This style is noted for its powerful sound and emphasis on social and spiritual participation. ↩︎

✏️ Hannah Land is an NHS Occupational Therapist and local Councillor in Nottingham, UK. She’s an active Shape Note Singer, Anglican Church member and supports various online liberal Christian communities. Occasionally she shares her thoughts and experiences on Substack.

💬 All views are those of the author, and copyright belongs to them. This has been presented as provided to thebrokenchurch.

📧 If you’re interested in sharing a little hope between 5th March and 17th April 2025, get in touch (abrokenpastor@gmail.com) with your contribution. It can be an article, blog post, artwork, poem, song, photo… there are no rules others than it be your original work and offers a little bit of hope.